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The say there is a fine line between greatness and utter madness. If Steven Wright is any indication, the line is getting blurred as his form of comedy is legendary for its uniqueness and, in many cases, bizarreness. If you don't know Steven Wright, you can rest assured that you probably have heard some of his sayings repeated by other comedians. The real question is whether he is brilliant, insane or a delightful combination of both. Here, you decide: Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read." The sky is falling...no, I'm tipping over backwards. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over the cop looks at it (moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly)...and says, "Here, you can go." What's another word for Thesaurus? Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious! I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Article Source: http://www.share.onlypunjab.com
Aazdak Alisimo writes for FunnyQuotesDaily.com, where you can get free funny quotes updated each and every day of the year.
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