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Whatever you are doing at this very moment can be made better by a bit of laughter. Okay, probably not heart surgery, but you get the idea. So without further delay, it is time to laugh to these quotes, thoughts and ramblings. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequilla. - Mitch Ratcliffe If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell. - Garry Shandling Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. - Cora Harvey Armstrong Only two things are necessary to keep ones wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it. - Lyndon B. Johnson In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. - Homer J. Simpson The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix. - Dan Quayle Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones. - Mike Barfield We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea. - Jon Stewart Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. - Rodney Dangerfield Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. - Homer J Simpson The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. - Paul Erlich Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will
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Aazdak Alisimo likes a good laugh just like anyone else, particularly funny quotes updated each and every day at FunnyQuotesDaily.com.
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